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× Patti ×

[ website | .•°•.My Poems.•°•. ]
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WOAH! [20 Jul 2005|02:02pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:xbabykinsx
Your haiku:me,from just givin
in?my life is complete shit
n i'm sic of ppl
Created by Grahame
I'd Walk 1 Miles Just to Hold You

[13 Apr 2005|10:55am]
Your Love Situation
by Amberishjewel
Your Love Is...Hard
During Lovemaking You Act...Like a cat, longing to be pet
Your Partner Is...Your soulmate
Your Partner Has Said That You...Are extrodinary
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote."I love thee wild with desire"
Quiz created with MemeGen!
Just to Hold You

[13 Apr 2005|10:40am]
[ mood | calm ]

so, its been a while since i've had a real update. cwep is coming n the deadline is thursday n i still havent set up my interview wit lowe's. they were supposed call me but i think i will be givin them a call.
prom was the 8th. i had an awesome time and i'm hopin i can find a way to put them on my journal or sumtin. anyways, the after party was great- i can't believe i had such a great time wit aggie people. but of course a few more aggie ppl should've been there n that would've made my night. but overall, i'm glad i went to prom. it was definately worth it and i have andrew n val to thank.
vaca is this week n i'm leavin friday for NY! i'm goin to stay wit my sista for a lil more than a week. i'm excited and i wz hopin to go to sum parties this vaca but i ratha go see my sister. n besides i need a good vaca away.
we are goin to arguimbau's today. mr lee is takin us- i knew that man was good for sumtin. and brodeur is comin wit us. we are gettin pizza and some crescent ridge ice cream. quite bomb! well, i don't got much else to say so i think i'm gonna leave it at that n be on my way and find sumtin else to do. so that's it. enjoy the update... n peace out

Just to Hold You

[ The Truth | 04.06.05 ] [06 Apr 2005|08:52pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

i confessed my sins,
and cry my heart out.
but you jus sit there,
and show no remorse.
you justify ur mistakes,
and charm me with your lies.
i try to look past them,
and when i ignore it i hurt.
i lose myself in your eyes,
and end up kickin myself.
how could i let you betray me,
and talk circles around me?
i'm so caught up in the moment,
that i get tired of fighting.
for once, just tell me the truth.
or are you afraid of what'll happen.
i'm not goin to listen to it anymore.
i won't lower myself to your level.
look me straight in the eye,
and tell me what i already kno.
maybe your afraid of what i'd do,
but you don't care what i'm feelin.
you tell me everyday you love me,
that you need me and cherish me.
but you don't kno that your losin me.
with every wakin moment i live,
pieces of me fall away.
but you ignore these tears,
and you block out my cries.
one day you will come home,
and realize i'm not takin anymore.
listen to the words i speak to you,
because they jus might be my last.

Just to Hold You

[06 Apr 2005|11:04am]
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 53%
Stability |||||||||| 36%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 50%
Empathy |||||||||||||| 56%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||| 30%
Mystical |||||| 30%
Artistic |||||||||| 36%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Materialism |||||||||| 36%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness |||||||||| 36%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 50%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 70%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43%
Romantic |||||||||||| 43%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50%
Wealth |||||| 30%
Dependency |||||| 30%
Change averse |||||||||||| 43%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43%
Individuality |||||||||||||| 56%
Sexuality |||||| 30%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical security |||||||||||| 50%
Food indulgent |||||||||||| 43%
Histrionic |||||| 30%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 43%
Vanity |||||| 23%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Female cliche |||||| 30%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Just to Hold You

[ Help Me | 03.30.05 ] [05 Apr 2005|06:44pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

i don't think i can take this anymore.
all this pressure is building up.
what am i doin all this for?
i'm trying to make everyone happy.
no matter what i do, i feel like falling.
i don't feel like i belong next to you.
i can't stand any longer, so i start crawling,
and you just watch me wither away.
i turn to you and ask for a hand.
but you ignore my pleads for help.
i can't take this, but you think i can.
what's the matter, why are you so blind?
all i ask of you is to open your eyes.
notice when i'm losing my fight with life.
listen to my pathetic harsh cries.
come to my aid and hold me close.
i'm so cold and lost in the crowd.
no one listens to my thoughts.
i hide away under this shrowd,
and hoping you will disappear.
i'm so sic of being rejected,
and mocked my everyone i meet.
my thoughts are simply dejected,
and i'm slowly losing my mind.

Just to Hold You

[05 Apr 2005|05:38pm]
[ mood | worried ]

its been a while and things were gettin better for a while. u kno the race things will get worse before tehy get better? ya, that's bullshit!
we're movin into the next apartment in a month or so. i stayed home today to go to the dr's bout my ankles n i found out that i damaged soft tissue n sprained my ankles. so that's the end of my softball career for varsity. i'm pretty upset cz its like the only thing im good at n i can't do it. so, i'm thinkin bout helpin andrew's mom coach softball. hopefully, that will go well. i got an interview monday mornin at 9... keepin my fingers crossed.
found out my dad has a spot on his lungs from smokin. that scares me. as much as i dislike him it makes me wonder can we survive without him... financially? idk, but its got me thinkin. i think its time for me to quit smokin. my asthma is gettin worse cz of smokin so im really thinkin bout quittin.
i've been wikid stressed and ppl are thinkin i have depression so there ya go. i'm messed up.
the only thing i got goin for me right now is the few ppl who don't complain to me bout thier lives n let me go to them and don't shut me out. idk i don't got much more to say. so that's it... i'm done

Just to Hold You

[24 Mar 2005|11:49am]
[ mood | crushed ]

hey guys- not in a great mood rite now. i got softball today n i dont kno if i want to go. i do because it may help take my mind off of things, but then again i jus wanna go home n cry...
for some reason, i'm so down n so damn depressed and i honestly don't kno why. i think its that ppl keep dumpin their shit on me and i can't handle it. i'm tryin to balance out things, but its not workin so why bother.

hey patricia. it's holly. i am sitting right next to you. you smell nice. i dont mean that in a creepy way.
you just do.
so i think you are very pretty {again not in a creepy way.} so i hope that later on i can make you laugh wicked wicked wicked hard.

that was holly, she's a doll.
ok, so that cheered me up a lil but i still am havin a hard time dealin wit ppl. poor val is in a shitty mood because of shitty ppl who treat her like sht {ty}.
k, well i think that is it for now. i don't wanna update too much bout what im feelin wit these ppl in the room. so, maybe ill update later. peace...

Just to Hold You

[21 Mar 2005|10:30am]
[ mood | sore ]

i'm so bored. i'm in study right now and i don't have anything to do. We have a short day schedule- we get out at 1:26. And today we got softball try outs. i'm sore now- nevermind how tired i'm gonna be after. and andrew isn't gonna be home to massage me after his "neh" one he gave me last nite. so, i'm resortin to some muscle relaxers n a heating pad. ah, yes... drugs!
anyways, i got me a headache right now n im thinkin bout takin sumtin for it but idk where to get it. or if i take the stuff i brought- i can't cz thats in colby's locker n i dont kno her combo... so that sucks. next we got lunch n im not sure when this class ends- prolly soon.
we had a MADD guy come in n showed us a presentation. it wasn't that annoying jus propaganda bullshit.
val had her cheerleading competetion yesterday- good times, good stories, a whoppin gr8 day. not really lookin forward to ag classes. i dont wanna listen to ppl piss n moan bout their boyfriends or shit like that. its annoying as shit.
well, i supposed that be it. i'm gonna go n check on my dying neopets lol. check ya lata...
peace out

Just to Hold You

[ Falling Apart | 03.10.05 ] [14 Mar 2005|07:14pm]
you're so blind,
you can't see.
whenever you lie,
you break off a piece of me.
i sit here without saying a word,
as i slowly fall apart.
you don't notice my pain,
or relize you're breaking my heart.
i never thought we'd be like this,
out of sync and so oblivious.
but you don't care about this,
it is so damned obvious.
stop, and take the time,
look me straight in the eye.
you used to be my prince,
but you just not the same guy.
you have changed so much,
that after only two years,
i'm already falling apart,
and shedding tears after tears.
listen to my words;
i'm not happy anymore.
my head is spinning,
and my heart is sore.
Just to Hold You

[ Heavenly Hell | 03.08.05 ] [14 Mar 2005|07:09pm]
what are you thinking,
now that you have nowehere to go?
your body lies entrapped,
as your spirit flies free.
there's no one to tell you "no".
you are finally on your own.
what do you see,
now that you have your wings?
do you go back to your past,
and haunt your memories?
to us, you lay motionless,
down here you look so peaceful-
after you spent your while life crying.
what is really worth it?
you left so many of us,
with questions...
with tears...
with heartbreaks.
maybe this is how you felt,
but i'll never kno, will i?
Just to Hold You

[ Ridicule Me | 03.08.05 ] [14 Mar 2005|07:02pm]
I don't think you get it.
I'm so sic of this shit.
you people drive me insane,
and I can't stand it!
people's voices ringin in my ears,
laughing at all of my fears,
tellin me I'm not worth the time;
nothing good will come of me;
I'm heading down a dead end.
all I ever needed was a friend,
that I could rely on when weak,
but no one wants to be seen with me.
my whole life, I wasn't good enough.
I wasn't smart, charming, or tough.
nobody wants an ugly duckling,
a late bloomer, a social reject.
so, I walk this one way alone.
I won't be coming back when I'm gone.
I kno I'm givin up on the future.
I kno this gets worse before it gets better,
but I just don't have the time to waste.
I look back one last time, and I make haste.
Just to Hold You

i found this poem n for some reason it touches me so deeply... [14 Mar 2005|07:01pm]
[ mood | cold ]

"I couldn’t write it down before
The lyrics or the talking in my head
It wasn’t safe…
And to have it there, in ink:
My addiction to withhold,
It would change:
An addiction to release
It was just safer locked away
I couldn’t risk an information leak

Scribbling it would have meant
Acknowledging a hunger was there,
A all too eager hand
With all too thirsty sheets
And there, it would stay
The letters mocking me
Staring me down
Laughing in my face

Now I write
Every word, every thought
In slow, careful tracings
Reflective of where I’ve been
And how far I’ve come
A beautiful release
My voice isn’t so scary out on paper"

Just to Hold You

awww... prom night `04 [14 Mar 2005|06:11pm]
[ mood | loved ]



Just to Hold You

me n my babeh [14 Mar 2005|06:10pm]
[ mood | loved ]


Just to Hold You

[ Curse | 02.24.05 ] [01 Mar 2005|01:42pm]
what's the point,
to this life i live?
what's stoppin me,
from just givin in?
my life is a reminder,
for all the shit i did.
i walk down the street,
and am haunted by you face.
i'll apologize a hundred times,
i'm sorry for hurtin you.
i kno i fucked up,
please let me move on.
your face and my thoughts,
taunt me day and night.
i made a mistake,
i kno, i admit it.
but i beg of you,
lift this curse.
let me be,
i never meant for this.
i can't look in the mirror,
without hearin you screams.
i should've stopped him,
but i didn't kno how.
that was so long ago.
now, i walk alone,
with such a dark cloud.
it hangs over my head,
remindin me of your sufferin.
Just to Hold You

[ Disgust | 02.23.05 ] [01 Mar 2005|01:35pm]
the sound of your voice,
drives me out of my mind.
don't pretend you care.
you're trying to make me look bad.
my dignity is all i have,
and you still try to take it away.
i can't have anything,
without you ripping it from my hands.
you never want me to be happy,
because you don't kno what its like.
for your whole like you'v been miserable,
and it kills you to see anyone content.
you jealous way aren't helping you.
who you are absolutely disgusts me.
they way you are, the way you live,
its so damned sickening!
when will you realize,
your making my life hell?
your filth and stupidity,
are only holding you back.
while you bask in your spite,
i sit back and watch you fade.
Just to Hold You

sry i'm talkin ghetto- i'm heated... [28 Feb 2005|04:55pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

here's some shit right hea. my grl broke up wit her boyfriend cz he's a fuckin shit talkin cockmuchin pussy. so now, he's sayin shit like he gonna touch her n shit like this. mothafucka needs to stop fuckin runnin his mouth. sayin shit like he got ppl runnin on her street at night. he's gonna slash her tires n shit. let the fuckin bitch boi try. i'll fuckin wrap my lil fingers round this ho's neck. we'll see who walks away. damn, i thought ppl would learn- don't FUCK with my friends! but, really, this dude is a "big" fuckin man. threatenin ur ex GIRLFRIEND! fuckin cum guzzler needs some fuckin manners. honest to god. then he gets his "brooklyn boyz"?! wtf is that? fuckin mafia poser shit; fuckin queer ass. i'll sho u mafia reppin, bitch. i dont' need my boyz to do my shit up- cz i got the balls to do it myself.
but, listen, bitch boi got his friends runnin thier mouths bout her man. mothafucka, please. jus got hottie got a bigger dick don't mean u gotta get all jealous. grow a fuckin set, little man. time for you to grow up.
F.Y.I. for bitch boi -> if u gonna fuck wit sumone- make sure they don't got sum1 like me on their side. honestly. i'm not sayin i'm the shit, i'm not sayin i can fuck anyone up, but piss me off n u got some shit to deal wit.

I'd Walk 1 Miles Just to Hold You

[ Being Young | 02.12.05 ] [24 Feb 2005|06:58pm]
the tears fall from her eyes,
but she silences her emotions.
she doesn't need anyone's sympathy.
since she was a child,
she was the strongest person i knew.
if she fell down,
she'd get right back up.
kids would call her names,
and she'd keep her head up high.
no matter what you'd say or do,
she'd walk by not paying attention.
she kept her spirits up,
and never let things get to her.
she wasn't that kind of girl,
but she grew up and opened her eyes.
now, i see the world for what it is.
we're all in such a hurry to grow up,
but once we get there we wanna be young.
enjoy the ignorance while it lasts,
because when reality hits you- it hurts.
Just to Hold You

[17 Feb 2005|07:36pm]
onyx is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
Just to Hold You

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